My anxiety around strangers causes me to become very awkward. I start to get nervous so I start to act awkwardly as a result. I hate being awkward because I feel like affects everyone around me, but there's not much I can do about it.
I don't get awkward around my friends or family because they all know what I'm like. It only happens around strangers or adults. It even happens over the phone. When I need to call customer service or any other type of service I get very, very anxious as I wait for them to pick up. When the person picks up, I begin to feel super awkward. I don't think the other person can tell because they can't see me and my voice doesn't change but I find it very unpleasant. If I'm ordering food, when the person arrives at my door the same thing happens. I can't tell if the delivery person can tell that I'm feeling awkward because I try not to think about it.
When I'm meeting a famous person or youtuber, I can't be myself. I get so nervous that I just want to say "hi" and run away. I usually try to talk but start to feel so jittery that I end up leaving after less than 5 minutes. I usually regret it later but I know that even if I went back, not much would change.
All my close friends know that I'm very awkward because they see it happen when we go out. I've tried to stop doing that but I don't think I'll be able to because it's very closely tied to my anxiety. Maybe if my anxiety stats to get better then so will this? I can't know until it happens.
I can't believe it's the last day of WEDIN! I actually enjoyed this more than I had planned to. Writing a blog is very fun and I enjoy it much more than keeping a journal. I know that I'll write back soon, but I can't give an exact date. I don't have any events happening in December other than the holidays. If I do blog before then, it will most likely be a book review on one of the books mentioned in my book haul.
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