WEDIN Day 23: Sadness

Today has been a very sad day. A very close family friend just got diagnosed with cancer and is in surgery right now and it's left me with a heavy heart.

I've been lucky enough to not have a lot of cancer in my life. My mom's best friend has breast cancer, but she lives in Argentina so I don't know her on a personal level. This is a very new and strange moment. I hate how useless I feel because all I can do is hope that everything will be okay and that's very unsatisfying.

I've been trying to distract myself all day because I know that if I keep thinking I'll go insane. It's been a pretty lazy day because of that.

It's also in these moments that I selfishly wish I was religious. That sounds weird because I can be religious if I want to but the only reason I would want to is so that I can pray (better than doing nothing right?). It's obviously very selfish and now how religion works but at least with that I could do more than think optimistic thoughts. (And, no, this doesn't mean I actually do this, it's just a strange sort of envy that is very irrational and just based on my feelings. I wouldn't abandon my opinions that quickly.)

By the end of the day, we'll know how the surgery went (which has lasted about 9 hours now) and what happens from now on. I'll do a short update later.

In this case, appreciate the peace before it all goes wrong. (Or appreciate your happiness before it goes away.) 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Everything went well with the operation and she's recovering very well. The surgery lasted 11 hours, but it was a complete success. My family is going to visit her soon.